Counselling for Change

Personal Counselling for individuals, couples and groups

Personal counselling or psychotherapy offers an opportunity to explore the kind of problems that many of us experience at work or at home.

EMDR is a specialist counselling technique for working with blocks and trauma that can be used alongside more traditional counselling approaches (More info).

For instance, relationships we’d like to change or improve, conflicts we’d like to resolve, or personal dilemmas we want to explore in a non-judgemental and supportive space.

Anxious, stressed and depressed are terms which cover a wide spectrum of symptoms associated with feeling very low in self-confidence, and lacking motivation. Sometimes energy levels are high, but they're the fretting, agitating kind rather than productive and pleasant. The fretting produces a lot of apparent activity or brain space to no purpose - the person might be said to be incapacitating themselves, or limiting their ability to engage in anything to move forward.

Some people experience very raised anxiety levels and panic attacks, which can be extremely frightening; others have disturbed sleep and eating patterns, or find themselves ‘comfort’ eating or binge drinking or drug taking. A sense of ‘losing control’ or ‘going out of mind’ can be all pervasive and add to the deeply distressing symptoms. Sometimes, a personal loss or bereavement is the trigger for a downward spiral, or experiencing a profound shock or trauma, or what seems like a series of failed relationships and setbacks. The loss of a long-cherished dream, and of hope, is just as ‘real’ as losing a person, our job, home or health, or even a much loved pet.

(Please note, I don’t specialise in drug and alcohol abuse, and cannot provide the facilities for 24/7 continuity of support. What I do is work with people who definitely want to change their lives, and are willing to take the necessary steps to do that.)

By changing the kind of conversations we have, we can understand more about ourselves and how we operate in the world, why differences between people exist which can cause conflict, why there are recurring “flash points” in many relationships, and—here’s the good news!—what to do about it!

For some people the conflict feels as if it is inside their own heads. This can feel deeply confusing and contribute to low self-esteem and negative beliefs.

Sometimes we need to confront someone about their behaviour toward us. Knowing how to do that, with compassion and care, rather than being motivated by aggression or fear, is a skill that can be learned.

Frequently asked questions are: How can I be tactfully honest rather than brutally candid, and still get my point across? How can I move from being furious, to just curious about what's really going on? And be open to finding new ways to move forward?

Commonly raised issues are how to increase self esteem and confidence, become more assertive (without being aggressive), reduce personal pressures (without letting people down), and wanting to feel more in control, without becoming selfish.

Sometimes referrals are made by a GP or healthcare practitioner, or by an insurance company following a claim for personal injury. Alternatively, employees may have called their company’s Employee Assistance scheme helpline, and been recommended for a limited number of counselling sessions.

Approach to Counselling

My approach integrates Transactional Analysis (TA), Cognitive Behavioural Therapeutic (CBT) techniques and psychodynamic concepts drawn from Carl Jung’s Depth Psychology.

TA helps to explain in straightforward language:

• What goes on inside people’s heads
• What happens between people
• How to change things when you know what’s going on

I make three basic assumptions about people:

• Everyone is worth respect
• Everyone can think for themselves
• Everyone can take responsibility for their actions

Counselling Training

I am registered with the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) as a Provisional Training & Supervising Transactional Analyst with Psychotherapy speciality (PTSTA), and subscribe to their Code of Professional Practice. I have completed EMDR Level 3 training and belong to their association (More info).

For a more detailed list of qualifications and experience, Contact Me.

What happens when I receive an enquiry from a prospective client?

Following an initial enquiry by email or phone, I will call you back for a brief chat. A no-obligation, no-fee half-hour meeting is usually offered if it sounds like this would be useful. This is a chance to meet face to face and discuss what you are looking for in more detail.

More? visit the following links or Contact Me

• Institute of Transactional Analysis
• Institute of Developmental Transactional Analysis
• UK Council for Psychotherapy
• The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
• Sussex Counselling

If you are thinking of training as a counsellor, visit your local college www.thelinkcentre.co.uk (based in Newick near Haywards Heath) or www.wealdeninstitute.co.uk (based in Crowborough).